Thank you for the front-page article highlighting the importance of same-sex marriage ("The Big Gay Issue," July 16). Throughout my life, there has never been any question in my mind that marriage should not be defined as a union between a man and a woman, but as a union between two people who love each other, regardless of gender.

It is hard for me to understand why the concept is so controversial. It saddens me that America is still debating whether to allow same-sex marriage. And it somewhat amazes me that some members of the GLBT community actually oppose it, or don't care, saying either that they don't want to get married or they would prefer civil unions, that they want something "better" than marriage and don't want to "ape the monkey."

It doesn't matter if you personally don't want to get married (I do not), because many people do, and their right to do so is being denied. As for something "better" than marriage? If there is something better, it should be available to both straight couples and gay couples as well as traditional marriage.

Straight people will not see gay people accepting civil unions as a sign they have found something better. They will see it as a resignation that gays are "different," hetero marriage is sacred, and the love between two men or two women is not equal to that between a man and a woman.

With so many couples and families fighting for recognition, the need for marriage equality is too important to ignore, and the realization of a nation where same-sex marriage is legal is a benefit to all, including those who have no intention of marrying.

KEINI SCHNEIDER, AVON