You know what's totally awesome? Being white. The non-Caucasians of the world have probably suspected as much, what with all the films bankrolled by wealthy crackers that brag about how rewarding it is to visit an unfamiliar place, bleach the wretched savages a bit with our palefaced superiority, meddle in some random yet serious problem, and then benevolently bask in our own slightly-less-ignorant glory. Our fair hero(ine) can serve in roles as sundry as a teacher ("Dangerous Minds"), a coach ("Glory Road"), a soldier ("Three Kings"), or a journalist ("Welcome to Sarajevo"), but each of our cream-colored altruists inevitably walk away from their exotic experiences feeling as enriched as those they helped. Which is mighty white of them.

Yeah; I'm not sure why this particular type of film annoys me. Perhaps it's because the unwritten rules governing Hollywood plots usually prevent a filmmaker from doing justice to these nonetheless compelling - and often true - stories of salvation. The details rarely vary: the initially selfish main character doesn't want to help anyone, the natives don't trust Whitey anyway, and the mandatory romantic interest is generally another outsider (lest they take the imperialism metaphor someplace weird). About two hours later, however, all have found common ground, learned lessons, and maybe even saved lives. Sounds familiar, right? That's pretty much the outline of "The Children of Huang Shi," an unremarkable film about someone who did remarkable things.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (last seen getting his Henry VIII on in Showtime's "The Tudors") stars as George Hogg, an English journalist who we first meet in 1937 as he's worming his forbidden way into occupied Nanjing, where history would record unfathomable atrocities by Japanese troops. After getting caught with his incriminating camera, Hogg's fat is hauled from the fire by dashing Resistance fighter Chen Hansheng (thank heaven for Chow Yun-Fat, now with salt-and-pepper goatee), who in turn introduces Hogg to Lee Pearson (Radha Mitchell, "Melinda and Melinda"), a nurse from...somewhere. Mitchell's problematic accent wavers among American, British, Australian, and Hepburn, but I should probably just be grateful that at least one aspect of "The Children of Huang Shi" was unpredictable.

It's Lee that convinces Hogg to hole up in the countryside, but what she neglects to mention is that she's sending him to a "Lord of the Flies"-esque orphanage, in which the young Chinese residents have seen things no one should. Hogg certainly doesn't want to deal with these lousy little kids (literally; they have lice), and the boys want nothing to do with the pasty, crabby foreigner. Politics rears its confusing albeit necessary head from time to time - usually when the welcome Chow swaggers back into the frame - as does the requisite love triangle, though Lee is battling her own demons. But redemption naturally ensues, as Hogg and the boys find a way to thrive together, by farming, studying English, and shooting hoops.

Word to casting agents: if you're looking for a heroic adventurer type capable of registering an emotion beyond smug, skip Jonathan Rhys Meyers. It's downright mindblowing how far he's gotten on looks (an incidentally, the bloom is wearing off that rose) rather than talent, and to rest a movie on his limited shoulders is a mistake. Meyers enjoys no chemistry with the usually capable (read: not here) Mitchell, but there does seem to be a slight spark between him and the classy Michelle Yeoh's serene opium merchant. Though it features stunning cinematography by Zhao Xiao Ding ("House of Flying Daggers"), "The Children of Huang Shi" was directed by Roger Spottiswoode, probably best known for 1997's Bond flick "Tomorrow Never Dies" but better remembered - just to be cautious - for his three-film tear in the early 90's: "Turner and Hooch," "Air America," and "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot."

George Hogg's heroic claim to fame - which this movie treats almost like a postscript - is his Herculean undertaking of marching this gaggle of orphans 600 miles down a stretch of the Silk Road to a tiny village bordering the Gobi Desert for safekeeping. He established a school there, and the end credits offer reminisces from some of the boys he helped, all of whom remember him fondly despite the intervening decades. That's George Hogg's legacy. This isn't. 

The Children of Huang Shi

(R), directed by Roger Spottiswoode

Opens Friday, July 11