We'll be honest with you: while we enjoy discovering what you voted as Rochester's best pizza parlor or car shop, our favorite part of Best Of is going through the smart-ass answers sent in by our clever, snarky readers. You all are funny. And MEAN! But that's why we like you. Below find some of our favorite responses to the open-ended primary ballot, which ran during September. If you missed your chance to get in a zinger or two, make sure to check back next fall for a chance to get in your potshots.
Oh, yeah! THAT one!
That place on Monroe Ave that I can't remember because I'm always hungover when I'm there. (Best Breakfast)
That dude that stands outside that place. (Best Street Meat Vendor)
The one down the street. (Best Corner Store)
The one with all the old things. (Best Antique Store)
OH OH The one that sells seeds... (Best Garden Store/Nursery)
The dude on NPR. (Best Radio Voice, Male)
That chick on that show. (Best Radio Voice, Female)
The one with all the left turns. (Best Racing Event)
I can't remember their name...one girl, two guys...the voices are bad but they're so good. Played at the Bug Jar. (Best Original Band)
That douchey one. Oh wait, that doesn't help. (Best Nightclub)
The fat one. (Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer)
Why is she in such a bad mood?
Dianasour. (Best Barbecue)
Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.
Anywhere, they're all the same too - there's no real secret to making wings. You fry them and throw on some sauce. (Best Wings)
Pride goeth before the fall...
I'm a PROUD Rochester native but I will NEVER touch one of those things! (Best Plate)
Sounds...appetizing.
Creepy van in East End. (Best Street Meat Vendor)
Hello, random:
"Jermaine the thug - in the Houuuuuuse." (Best Street Meat Vendor)
Everyone's a little bit racist.
They're all the same, aren't they? (Best Asian Restaurant)
Thanks for sharing.
I don't like pasta. (Best Italian Restaurant)
Somebody really likes quesadillas.
Sol Mother-F**king Burrito!!!!!! Best Quesadillas Ever! I Promise! (Best Mexican Restaurant)
Not a kid person.
Your kitchen at home, where your ill-behaved children belong. (Best Family Restaurant)
Sobering realities.
Those don't exist. In every kitchen is a hungover waitress screaming about how f**ked up she got the night [before]. (Best Family Restaurant)
How do you even make vegan ice cream?
The vegan one. Oh wait, never mind. (Best Ice Cream Shop)
Whipped!
I ALWAYS PAY! (You're welcome babe!) (Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying)
Easy to please.
Anywhere. I'm greedy AND adventurous. (Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying)
Disturbing for so many reasons...
McGangBang - a McChicken sandwiched between a double cheeseburger - at the now-defunct East Ave McDonald's. $2.16 of Death. (Best Meal Under $10)
Good luck, indeed.
Good Luck, cuz I have to stock that shit. (Best Wine List)
Ba-dum bump!
The Bachelor Forum...tons of cocks, many selections. (Best Cocktail Selection)
Yes, we are so impressed by your big, manly beer...
(Shrugs) No pussy drinks for me. (Best Cocktail Selection)
But why? They're so cushy on your feet.
I'm scared of laundry mats. (Best Laundromat)
Note: City Newspaper does not advocate this method of acquiring a new car.
Get yourself a good crowbar and you can buy a new car anywhere. (Best Place to Buy a New Car)
Because some of us aren't elitist pricks.
Why would you want someone else's junk? (Best Place to Buy a Used Car)
That class reunion will be uncomfortable...
I went to school with Rich Ide and he makes a lot of jokes for someone who just is NOT FUNNY. (Best Place to Buy a Used Car)
And also, illegal.
Highland Park with a pair of gardening shears ought to be pretty good. (Best Florist)
For a different kind of facial.
Rochester Spa and Body Club. (Best Spa)
But how do you do business casual?
Clothes are overrated, body paint is where it's at! (Best Clothing Store)
Ba-dum bump! Part 2
Liquor in the front and Poker in the rear. (Best Liquor Store)
We think you mean "Cracky McCracky's Crack Stop."
That place with the crack stems with roses in them. (Best Corner Store)
Your mom said to shut up.
Ask my mom. (Best Garden Store/Nursery)
Then you should probably avoid anything to do with the Jonas Brothers.
Radio makes me hate music. (Best Radio Voice, Female)
Best answer ever, if you get the reference.
Karen in "Mean Girls." (Best Reliable Weatherperson)
Does he also rent an apartment to Chrissy, Jack, and Janet?
Al Roper. (Best Reliable Weatherperson)
Setting the bar high.
RNews, because they fucking do news up real good and shit.
RNews, simply because it's always on.
Channel 10, because everything's an investigation. (Best TV News Station)
Oldies but goodies.
Don Alhart: that guy must be immortal.
Ray Levato: old and cranky. Not unlike me. (Best Male News Reporter)
We're sure she appreciates the sentiment.
Whoever is the ugliest...she needs a confidence booster, I bet.
Nikki Rudd, I would totally leave my husband for her. (Best Female News Reporter)
But do they know you're laughing at them, not with them?
Monroerising: rightwing nuts, totally w/o restraint or shame. (Best Local Website)
What does that leave us with?
Anything that doesn't feature a fat Italian man yelling at me to buy a car. (Best Local Commercial)
High standards, Part 2.
Everything, because it wasn't about the freaking fast ferry. (Best Local News Story)
We thought her middle name was "Helen."
Maggie "I'm going to close the library and zoo and sue to stop gay marriage" Brooks. (Best Politician in Need of a Slap in the Head)
Local politicians, consider it a mandate:
I wish they would buy an ice cream truck and drive around and give out free ice cream. (Best Use of Public Funds)
As if we could stop you...
Can I still complain about the fast ferry? (Best Misuse of Public Funds)
Why can't it be both?
The mysterious smell around MCC: death or coffee? (Best Urban Legend)
Curses! We had Professor Plum in the Conservatory with the lead pipe.
Mayor Duffy, in the Dining Room, with the Wrench. (Best Local Scandal)
Absolutely not.
Tim Allen of "Home Improvement." (Best Improvement Rochester Needs)
How can you tell who wins?
Smugtown BabyMakers. (Best Sports Team)
An avid fan.
Jen Str.... I can't spell it. The pole vaulter. (Best Athlete)
Giving new meaning to "18 holes."
Genesee Valley. It used to be a great place to hook up at night. (Best Golf Course)
Sounds like a plan.
Lux. If the date sucks you can drunk 'em up and push them on to someone else and then leave with a friend. Haha. (Best Place for a First Date)
Klassy indeed.
Klassy Cat. (Best Romantic Restaurant)
Cue the rimshot...
Solera. Most people seem quite happy there. (Best Gay Bar)
A plea for equality.
There are no male strip clubs in town, so suck it. (Best Strip Club)
Something to shoot for next year.
Hahahahahaha... my new goal in life! To be voted Rochester's best whore. Shoot me. (Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer*)
Getting the most out of your tax dollars.
In front of one of the new police cameras. (Best Make-Out Spot)
*City removed the Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer category after nobody received more than one vote in our preliminary ballot.





Comments for "BEST OF ROCHESTER 2008: Smart-mouth responses" (3)
City Newspaper is not responsible for the content of these comments. City Newspaper reserves the right to remove comments at their discretion.
william said on Nov. 12, 2008 at 10:49am
will these smart mouth responses be printed in full text in newsprint or just for website online??
Eric said on Nov. 12, 2008 at 10:50am
Dear William: Most of the smart-mouth responses are in the print edition; we couldn't fit all of them so a few (I'd guess maybe 10 percent) were cut, and run only online.
Eric Rezsnyak, Features Editor
MrRochester said on Nov. 12, 2008 at 1:42pm
Hey I made the list! And they got me right, I am an elitist prick!
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