Dear Jennifer: I broke my mom's music box. She told me not to play with it, but I wanted to listen to it. I dropped it and now it won't play music anymore. She got it from her grandma. Should I tell her?

- Jessie, 9

Dear Jessie: For once, I'm going to go over the wall and offer "childrening" advice: absolutely, under no circumstance should you tell your mother that you broke her music box. When she discovers it, completely ignore her screams. As she storms into the kitchen with the crime victim in her hand, look her square in the eye and feign complete ignorance. If you think the situation warrants it, suggest that another member of the family was involved. As parents, we know someone did something, but reasonable doubt plays havoc with a parent's mind.

In the world of parents vs. children, there exists a statute of limitations. When you are about 22 years old and enjoying a cocktail with your folks, you can divulge the history of your crimes. I suggest you start slow, as not to give them a reason to polish off the rest of whatever it is you're drinking, then go to the store for more. For example, "Remember the time you came home to find your vase from Paris smashed on the floor? Well, Jimmy and I were playing ball in the house. As soon as the vase hit the ground, we ran for it. We came home after you, pretending to have been at the corner store the entire time. The poor cat got blamed."

For the most egregious crimes, I suggest you wait until your father is holding your first baby. Then you can launch into: "Two days after I got my driver's license, I took your Cadillac joy riding. I lost control, drove up onto a neighbor's lawn and ran over a sapling. I fled the scene, only to stop and pull the grass and mud out of the grate before I came home".

Have fun, but remember, payback's a bitch.