Missed the opening number, which was apparently a Shane Sparks joint (interesting, since I thought he'd jumped the ship to "America's Best Dance Crew") to Black Eyed Peas' "Boom Boom Pow." I have it on good authority that it kind of sucked.

After a meet-the-couples montage we got straight to the results. First three couples: Max and Kayla, Evan and Randi, and Phillip and Jeanine. To me they were the strongest three couples of the first night, so I was glad to see them all safe. At this point I'd say they're the clear front-runners in this competition, and very few of the other couples have a prayer at touching them.

Next four couples: Jason and Caitlin, Ade and Melissa, Kupono and Ashley, and Tony and Paris. And Tony and Paris landed in the bottom. Surprising! I expected him to get through for a while based on his screaming teen vote, and the fact that he was in the Bottom 3 on Week 1 threw me for a bit of a loop. I'm glad Ade and Melissa and Jason and Caitlin escaped unscathed, but I have to say I'm like Kupono less and less. His interviews last night were super annoying. And what was with the gold stole?

Last three couples: Asuka and Vitolio, Brandon and Jeanette, and Jonathan and Karla. Any of them could have been in trouble based on Wednesday night, and only Brandon and Jeanette were safe, which is probably correct, if only because Jeanette totally saved that number. While leaving the stage Brandon did an ill-advised groin shake to the audience. That's...not helping your case any, friend.

So up for elim: Asuka|Vitolio, Tony|Paris, Jonathan|Karla. Tough call. I considered Tony and Karla are the weakest dancers of the six, but I didn't think the show could afford to lose one of its TWO hip-hoppers. And since we have the contemporary glut this year, Vitolio and Karla or Paris were the most expendable.

While the Bottom 6 prepared for their solos we got treated to a tango by two ballroom experts whose names I didn't catch. The woman was magnificent, the guy didn't do a thing for me. He looked like a skankier version of Steven Seagal. She oozed sex. He looked perpetually surprised. Odd pair.

Solos: Paris' solo was dull and pretty elementary - it was freshman dance at a college level, and her extensions were dreadful. Tony: where was the dancing? He performed basic hip-hop, and didn't even do that particularly well. He's got good rhythm, but compared to the hip-hoppers we've had on this show in the past? You've got to be KIDDING me. Asuka: That is how you dance for your goddamned life. And it's hard for ballroom girls to dance solo, since they're all about partnering. Good on her. Vitolio blew it out as soon as he stepped on stage. It was an exceptional solo that showed strength, grace, control, passion - everything. Karla's solo was as uninspired as Paris'; it felt like she didn't know what she was doing ahead of time, which is verboten on this show. Jonathan decided to break out the tumbling for his solo. Again, tough for ballroom guys to solo, so I feel like he did everything he could, and it was more impressive than Tony, but still weak compared to the rest of the competition. My guess: Paris and Tony were getting the cut.

Then Sean Kingston came on. I won't even get into it, except to say that I'm disturbed that THIS is a pop star. He has no charisma and dressed like Fat Albert. And his hoochie dancers? Nasty. I don't care what you say, Sean Kingston, I will not put my hands up.

Judges were unanimous in their decision with the girls. The judges thought Karla was very good - I must have watched a different solo - and she was safe. She won't stick around for long. When Nigel tried to say that they try to make sure that they have all of the various styles represented, it was clear that Paris was fucked. And indeed, she got cut. It's the right decision. I was not a fan of Paris from the get-go, but I thought she did well in that hip-hop number last night; Tony dragged her down. But we do have WAY too many contempo girls this year. One down, like three more to go.

Judges were unanimous in their decision for the guys, too. They didn't think any of the guys danced well. Really? I thought Vitolio was great. Nigel said that Vitolio wasn't showing his personality. I guess that's probably true. He's safe. They gave Tony shit for his solo, saying that it was a lot of moving around the stage and not much else. Bingo. Tony got cut. That is amazing; I never expected him t go so early. I feel like he got as far as he did based mostly on personality, with very little talent to back it up.

So for me that was a good start to the season! The two most lackluster dancers get sent home first. Of the remaining bottom feeders, Jonathan is in trouble unless he really brings it next week, but he's totally hamstrung by having awful Karla as a partner. I fear for him. I think Vitolio and Asuka can do better with a competent choreographer (read: not Tyce).