For those not in the know, "Idol" has significantly revamped the semifinals round this year. Well, maybe it's more accurate to say "devamped" - the new system looks an awful lot like what was in play through Season 3. I'm thrilled with the change. Now, instead of three nights a week featuring the Top 12 guys and the Top 12 girls performing every week until they're whittled down to the final Top 12, the 36 semifinalists have been split into three groups of 12. These groups will only perform once, and based on viewer votes, the top guy and top girl from each group advance to the overall Top 12, as does the person with the second-highest amount of votes. The final three Top 12 spots will be selected by the judges in the Wild Card round.

It's interesting that "Idol" is going back to this format since it is slightly less fair than the semis they've held the past few seasons. You could have one exceptionally talented group one week and only a handful of them will make it, while another group might be full of nothing but garbage and three of them are still guaranteed spots in the finals. However, the producers know what they're doing, and if last night's first group show was any indication, they've stocked this sucker so full of losers that your favorites should have no problem getting through.

Jackie Tohn was first up singing Elvis Presley's "A Little Less Conversation." And by "singing" I mean "shouting." Jackie employed a jazzy kind of take on the song, occasionally letting the grittier parts of her voice take over. But as she herself admitted after she was done, this was not a song to showcase her voice - in fact, the singing was pretty weak. She wanted to entertain the crowd by acting like a fool, dancing around and wailing and being a spectacle. Her rationale was that everyone on the show can sing (not true), but she wanted to be an entertainer. I see where she was coming from, and she was entertaining in a spazzy kind of way. But I think she overestimates how hilarious she is, and underestimates how over-the-top some of the other assholes in this competition are. Jackie's pretty screwed at this point.

Ricky Braddy had never been seen up to this point, but he made quite a debut singing...some song. Honestly, I don't know what it was. It was boring and lacked any real melody. Terrible song. Just awful. However! He sounded great on it. Soaring, soulful tenor that sounded totally unforced, and he has a lovely falsetto. The judges, especially Simon, dinged him for lacking star quality. I can see that. But I think from a talent perspective he deserves another shot. He might be a wild card contender. But that song choice...all wrong for this show.

Alexis Grace needs to reapply her pink hair streaks, because they're already fading. She sang "Never Loved a Man" by Aretha. The judges loved it, I just liked it. The song was too big for her. Sorry. And they praised her for all this self-esteem but I saw a nervous little girl standing on that stage who looked very awkward. She has a believable bluesy quality to her voice, and I do like her, but this song didn't sell me.

Brent Keith was besieged by tape problems during his intro package. I vaguely remember his initial audition, but I don't think we saw him at all in Hollywood. Maybe the reason I'm having such a hard time placing this guy is because he's so thoroughly forgettable. He sang some country song called "Hicktown." Oh, Brent Keith. Total karaoke voice, not impressive. His dance moves were really terrible, even for a white guy. I think his soul may be dead. Randy said he gives a new edge to country. This guy is the antithesis of edge. He's a curve.

Stevie Wright is 17, cute as hell, and doomed. She sang "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift, a song I've never heard, but think I may like if I heard it sung by someone competent. The song was WAY TOO LOW for Stevie, and the rest of the vocals were just terrible. The first true bomb of the night. It was like watching some ghastly high school talent show (I am channeling Simon!). She sounded like she was out of breath the whole time, and way flat throughout. Her dance moves were very Tiffany Mall Tour 1986, which should endear her to me, but...no. She'll get over it. She's young.

Anoop Desad sang "Angel of Mine" by Monica. The hell? The thing is, Anoop really can sing like a mutherfucker. He's smooth and powerful and has a lot of soul for a geek. And there's just enough cheese there to ingratiate him to me. He's not an artist. He's just a singer. But he's a damned good singer.

Casey Carlson works at a bubble tea shop, so bonus points there (seriously, love that shit; can't believe KC Tea & Noodle is gone). She's absolutely adorable. Unfortunately she can't sing. She misguidedly picked The Police's "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" (and, lest we think she's a big ol' lesbian, changed it to male pronouns). The singing was bad enough, but she kept giving these total fuck-me eyes during the song. This is not a fuck-me song. This is cute flirty song. I kept wondering if Casey was a pageant girl, because that's how she sounded. And also: flat. How did she make it this far with this thin, soulless voice?

Michael Sarver chose Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be." Strike 1, Michael. But oh, he is so hot. I wish I knew how to quit him. It was a bad song choice. He's a country guy. Why is he trying to be a pop/rock guy? This was such a bar performance. He dropped lyrics left and right, and didn't sing particularly strongly. The song just didn't showcase his vocals, which are pretty decent, I think. Was he trying to go for a more mainstream vote? Because I think he would have been safer going strictly country. Look how far Bucky effing Covington got.

Ann Marie Boskovich was a favorite going into "Natural Woman." I'm not sure she still is after it. She is a stunning woman. Stunning. She started the song weakly, and as she was building to the chorus a whole lot of flat of notes got dropped in throughout. She has a big voice, but she was trying too hard. Which you can't really blame her for, since, you know, "American Idol." But it wasn't great -- it was decent karaoke. I think Ann Marie is in trouble. Even Ryan was over it all when she totally boffed the interview.

Stephen Fowler really should not be here at this point given his terrible showing in Hollywood. And his song choice of Michael Jackson's "Rock With You" doesn't help. It's wimpy. There's something so inauthentic about him. Also, if you're going to pull out a key change and a big power note, you'd better nail them both. He didn't. Boo.

Tatiana Del Toro. "Saving All My Love For You." Whitney. This is what we call a recipe for disaster. And yet...Tatiana kind of kicked the shit out of that song. It wasn't perfect, as the judges pointed out, but she sounded really good, and kept her asshole tendencies to a minimum. There were times that she actually sounded like Kelly Clarkson. She seemed terrified when she started, but she ended up doing a damn fine job. On key. Expressive. Not overly full of runs and melisma. Someone had to speak with her and tell her to lay off her ridiculous bullshit. And of course the judges told her that they like asshole Tatiana, not normal Tatiana. Of course they do. Fuck you, judges. But not even Tatiana can resist herself! After trying to be composed and cool for her whole segment (trying too hard, really), she put out the whole "America, this is my dream, and it's up to you to keep it alive!" crap at the end, after TOUCHING RYAN SEACREST. Gah.

Danny Gokey must always keep product in his hair, and must always wear his glasses. Always. It is his signature look, and without them, it's not going to work. He chose "Hero" by Mariah Carey and I reflexively cringed. But, hey, he did a fantastic job with it. He put his own spin on the song without going nuts, turning it into something it isn't. Gokey is a clear contender for the whole shebang at this point. Although he might be peaking too early. But if he's not the top vote-getting male from this group I will be shocked. SHOCKED.

My predictions for tonight: Based strictly on performance quality Gokey should get through for the guys, and - I really can't believe I'm typing this - Tatiana should take it for the girls. The only real competition either of them have are Ricky Braddy and Anoop on the boys' side, and Alexis Grace on the girls (terrible night for the girls, just terrible). But if you take likability and show-pimping into account, Sarver and Ann Marie probably still have a shot. So I'm saying Gokey, Grace, and Tatiana, with a possible Sarver spoiler. And Anoop or Braddy might be up for a wild card.