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July 31, 2008 at 10:09am

"Project Runway": Fashion madness

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You know, I expected this season of "Project Runway" to be sloppy and rushed. But I really didn't expect it to be so absolutely devoid of talent as it has revealed itself to be. Yes, there are a few diamonds in the rough -- Kelli is pretty awesome, and could stand toe-to-toe with Christian or Daniel V -- but the rest? Last night's fashion show just drove home how very far we are from the talent peak of Season 4.

Fully 2/3 of the stuff that came down that runway was garbage. Blayne? Looked almost exactly like the dress that got eliminated, yet not even a ding. Daniel? Seen it before, and it was sloppily executed (he is SLOOOOOW).Korto? Boring, had  nothing to do with the assignment. Stella? Looked good, but she's a one-trick pony (appropriate, given her leather fetish). Suede? Hideous Girl Scout retread that bore no resemblance to his photo.

And then we have the judging. I understand that it's all very subjective. I understand that what I find ugly other people might think is impossibly chic. But how, in the name of Hermes, did we end up with that Top 3 last night? LeAnne, definitely -- that was very cool, very wearable, and a huge step up from last week's over-designed disaster. But LeAnne was LeRobbed, because Kenley's look was right out of a Cyndi Lauper video circa 1984. Who would wear that? Who would want to with that organza goiter? WHAT DID IT HAVE TO DO WITH HER PHOTO? I believe that her rationale was that she wanted something "painterly." But it was a mosaic! Jesus Christ!

But you know what? At least it was well made. Instead, I give to you Terri's disaster frock, which would look totally at home on the racks of Wal-Mart right now. Ugly print. Terrible fit. Sloppily made. Dress over pants? Welcome back to 2002. What a joke that this made Top 3 over Kelli's total package, Joe's very fashionable take on his inspiration photo, or Jerrell's sumptuous (though admittedly over-the-top) tango dress. I am agog.

As for the bottom three, I agree that Keith's dress was fairly unimpressive, and he deserved the ding. I like Keith, but I don't think he's long for this competition. He seems to think of himself as some fashion maverick, but so far his work has been overwhelmingly pedestrian. Emily's dress was blah, and her overly literal interpretation of neon just screamed "continent of Africa!" to me. But I think it's bogus that she was in the bottom three for a dress that was virtually identical to Blayne's, and not a word was said. The ruffle placement was different, but the concept and execution was otherwise almost the same.

Still, she shouldn't have gotten the boot over Jennifer's dress. What. The Hell? That looked like it was out of some costume shop; a mid-play outfit for Marion the Librarian from "Music Man." Not a single good thing to say about it, and she's boring as all get-out too. How does a design that bad skate through? Heidi literally said she had no interest to see anything else form that designer, and yet here she still is. GAH! Madness.

I will say that I'm glad at least one of the Mousy Brunette Brigade has been sent home. That just leaves us with LeAnne, Jennifer, and Kenley (who, admittedly, has set herself apart with her whole 1940s broad thing).

I'm going to keep watching, but I have friends saying, "Why am I watching this? I hate the personalities of most of these designers (SUEDE, BLAYNE, JERRELL) and their clothes are atrocious." I have a hard time arguing the opposite point. I get that they needed to bang this season out for contractual purposes, but ultimately its lack of quality is just going to hurt both Bravo AND Runway (Runway the most, though; good luck convincing your audience that you're still chic and fashion-forward after this mess, especially since you're now on LIFETIME, aka Television for Women who Wear Caftans). Bad times, man. Bad times....

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