And we're done.

I intended to give this show until next week to improve itself, but after the boring, offensive death march that was Monday and the even more boring, more offensive results show that was last night, I just can't have it. I just can't. This show is so bad it has almost made me hate movies in general. Almost.

So last night's hour-long results show eliminated three would-be directors. That's all it accomplished. In 60 minutes. With this lack of efficiency as a role model it's no wonder the contestants produced the drek they did in a week. The night began inauspiciously as the new host, whose name I still can't be bothered to remember, walked through the audience (...what?) while delivering her monologue and set-up for the evening. But the production values on this show are SO BAD that we could barely make out a word she was saying. It's a show about Hollywood! And they can't even get the sound right! Jesus Christ!

There was a boring, useless montage of Monday's films that tried to make them not look as bad as they were (lipstick, pigs, all that). There was behind-the-scenes footage of the directors celebrating in their pad for about five seconds, so once again we went back to the "Apprentice"/"Project Runway" set-up instead of the "Idol" format we were inexplicably pulled into Monday night. And then back to the theater, where the 18 directors were divided into three rows of six and informed that in each row one person had a film in the Top 3 and one person would be eliminated. The host then went through each director AGAIN and repeated the judges' comments AGAIN and then the Top 3 movies were shown AGAIN and it just never ended. Also, she babbled mindlessly and kept looking to the pit for help from her director. Terrible!

Anyway, the results shook out like this: The Top 3 included Zack ("Danger Zone"), Will ("Lucky Penny"), and...Jason ("Getta Rhoom"). The eliminated contestants were Carolina ("Deliver Me"), Claudia ("Blind Date"), and Phil ("Please Hold").

It's possibly unfair to blame the show for these outcomes, since America voted. But America makes BAD CHOICES, and furthermore, given the crap the viewers had to pick from Monday night, we shouldn't be surprised. They had to choose between turds, basically. And unfortunately some of the larger turds remained.

So based on these results, here are the three reasons I'm done with "On the Lot," effective immediately:

1. People who had legitimate talent were eliminated. I'm not that miffed about Carolina; she seems sweet but her film wasn't great and she was a nonentity. But Claudia very clearly had a vibrant visual style and, in general, knew how to direct a film. Her short had some bizarre disconnects (I still don't get what was going on with the rocks in the martini glass, and the bathroom humor at the end was ill-advised) but she at least told a story. And Phil's short was easily one of the best of the night. The idea might have been borrowed from other sources but it was well executed (except the last shot). It had visual style, humor, and atmosphere. There's simply no reason he was given the heave-ho.

2. Meanwhile, Kenny, Jessica, and Marty are still in this competition. I urge you to watch "Wack Alley Cab," "...to Screw in a Lightbulb," or what the hell Marty's submission was and compare them to ANY of the eliminated contestants' work. You tell me which is better. Kenny's short was the WORST PIECE OF CINEMA I have ever viewed, followed only by Jessica's short. And I sat through "Face/Off"! In the movie theater! (Not willingly, mind you.) Marty didn't even do the assignment and, if rumor is to be believed, just repurposed a project he had made prior to the competition. How is that even allowed?

3. Jason's offensive short was in the Top 3. That was the clincher right there. America --- the country whose movie-going tendencies have produced such films as "Big Momma's House 2," "Wild Hogs," and any of the countless Wayans Bros. efforts --- has spoken yet again and decided to support a film that very clearly makes fun of the mentally retarded. Jason continues to swear up and down that his lead character was a nerd, and that he never intended for him to come off as mentally disabled, and that the people he screened it for never got that idea either. Either Jason is surrounded by mindless yes men, or Jason is full of shit. I watched Monday's episode with four people. All of us simultaneously gasped in horror when that "nerd" opened his mouth for the first time, and it just got worse from there. Then the judges independently had the same reaction. There is NO WAY people could have watched that clip and not have seen how inappropriate it was. And even if Jason is being honest, it reflects even more poorly on his taste level that he didn't catch on. I can only hope that a significant part of his short's success came from pity votes and general apathy about the other submissions, because otherwise I just lost what little respect I had for the people of this country. Again.

Since this show brings me nothing but irritation, anger, and boredom, I am officially done. I refuse to waste any more of my life on something this awful. I'm actually pretty happy about this; I just got two weeknights back this summer. And given how low the ratings are, I suspect that any of you who are still watching after this point will be getting those nights back pretty soon too.

At least we have "So You Think You Can Dance"!