"Idol" 2007, Part 29: Those legs were meant for walkin'...

April 11, 2007 at 8:35pm

There have been many, many week when Haley Scarnato deserved to go home. So of course on the week that she actually does really well, she is sent packing. I recognize that I'm in the minority on this opinion --- most people seem to think her number on Tuesday sucked as usual --- but come on, you can't argue that it was worse than the aural crimes inflicted on us by Phil Stacey or even, dare I say it, Chris Richardson. So, boo. I actually feel bad for Haley, and that is something I never wanted to happen. (By the way, she looked FANTASTIC last night; get the girl a Pantene commercial STAT.)

The rest of the show was utterly useless, as it was stretched into a full hour because Fox literally has nothing else on its schedule worth showing. Losers. The filler...my god. In addition to the usual crap, we had Ryan interviewing people at a farmer's market, yet more feel-good BS for this Idol Gives Back stunt they're pulling, and a fairly hideous group sing to "Bailamos." The awful pimpomercials keep coming, as the Ford people use morphing technology straight out of Michael Jackson's "Black & White" video (how current!) to blend our Idols into one another as they sing "Happy Together" while having seizures in various Ford products. Best part: Half of them couldn't even lip synch the right words. Outstanding.

But the worst by far was the cringe-inducing fake clip in which some Idol production monkey spliced footage of Tony Bennett with the judges' reactions to horrible auditions. Just painful to watch, partially because you realize that if Tony Bennett was actually trying out for this show he'd never make it, age limit or no. I'm not sure who that reflects worst on, but everybody involved should be embarrassed for producing the segment, and the producers should be embarrassed for making me watch it. SHAME!

The bright spot was Jennifer Lopez, who kind of tore that shit up with her performance of...some song in Spanish. It was very passionate. Couldn't tell you what it was about. Just that she was dressed like Stevie Nicks' dominatrix fantasy (those boots! GIRL!), she had back-up dancers that looked conspicuously like J-Lo a la her Fly Girl days, and there flames and stuff. The singing wasn't great, but at least she SANG, which is more than she usually does live. The performance, however, was great. Bravo, Lopez! If your appearance on this show was designed to make people like you again, mission accomplished.

I cannot believe Phil Stacey is still in this competition. He continues to circle the drain, making at least his third appearance in the Bottom 3. But he simply will not go away. Do we literally need a stake through the heart? If so, I volunteer. Alas, next week is country week, and his pathetic mewling should actually fit that genre pretty well. Dammit. But Lakisha is in TROUBLE....

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