Fat Whitney won! It only took us seven years and 10 cycles, but one of the juicy sisters finally went home with the title of America's. Next. Top. Model. Yay!

I'm thrilled with the results, but last night's episode was the weirdest "Top Model" finale I've ever seen. Where was the drama? The suspense? The energy? It's almost as though the editors lost their will to live after last week's booting of Dominique. And that's understandable - that hot tranny mess was the breakout star of this cycle, bringing back levels of delusion and stupidity like we haven't seen since Cycle 6's Leftover Lady, Jade. I honestly missed Dominique last night.

But that's no reason to give short shrift to the Final 3, who - in my opinion - were the strongest F3 since Cycle 3's Eva, Amanda, and YaYa. Any one of them could have won (except maybe Fatima). And yet, last night was so perfunctory and felt like such an after-thought, I had to wonder if maybe the whole show was just over it all and ready for summer break.

The girls did their CoverGirl commercial and photo shoot, which none of them really rocked. In the first panel Fatima was the surprise elimination - her delivery was clipped and robotic, sure, but her photo was beautiful and Anya's commercial was an unintelligible disaster - and she was basically just shuffled off into obscurity. Then the big fashion show was crammed into what seemed like five minutes. The final runways on this show are typically insane spectacles. We've had underwater catwalks, fashionable stiltwalkers, huge flower-covered Thai temples, and freaking ghost brides for Christ's sake. This time they had gorgeous Donatella Versace gowns and some scantily dressed man meat, but almost zero fanfare. And the girls only did two passes, versus the usual, like, five! Where was the swelling music? Where was the dazzling light show? Where was Tyra making an ass of herself, like usual?

I had heard that the show spent way too much money on Cycle 9 (what a waste that was...) and so had to really cut back the budget for this season. Maybe this is where the fat was trimmed? (No pun intended, Whitney.)

In any event, if you'd told me weeks ago that an Anya vs. Whitney Final 2 would result in Whitney winning, I'd have slapped you silly. I just didn't think it was possible. While the judges' criticisms last night were even more obtuse than usual (I could not for the life of me comprehend what Tyra was saying about Whitney's ugly facade in that first panel), I actually think they got it right. Whitney totally won the runway walk-off. She was way swishy and over-the-top, but Anya couldn't keep a straight line and seemed distracted, like she was walking through the quad on her way to pre-calc. Anya should have taken the portfolio review hands down, but I think Whitney ended up holding her own. I forgot how many of her photos I really liked.

Which is not to say that the judges didn't totally cherry pick those suckers - notice that the airport and Renaissance diva shots were nowhere to be found, and those were some of Whitney's weakest. There will undoubtedly be people saying that Whitney won because Tyra wanted a plus-sized (excuse me, full-figured) model to finally win it, not because she was the best model. And yeah, that's probably the case. But so what? If it was really about the best model, either Kat, Claire, or maybe Fatima would have gotten the crown, but it's rarely about that. It's about who is marketable and a role model. And I think Whit is. She's absolutely stunning, she's entertaining, and she can take beautiful photos, speak well, and walk a runway. She'll never be a high-fashion model, but this show will never really produce a successful couture-appropriate winner (Jaslene was probably our best bet). Whitney is a very good winner, and I look forward to her CoverGirl spots next season. She can't possibly do worse than tragic Saleisha, who we can forget ever existed. Now let us never speak of her again.

I've heard people complaining that overall, Cycle 10 was mediocre at best. And to that I say, rubbish. It's true that the girls couldn't compare aesthetically to some of the earlier crops (this was an especially broke-ass bunch), but I haven't seen such an entertaining bunch of chicks since Cycle 6. The drama, the entertainment, the fresh bitchery - it was all there, folks. "You're a shady bitch!"? "I hope you choke on your f**king coffee!"? "Frankensteiny"? These are instant classics, my friends.

Bring on Cycles 11-20, bitches!